1. “It’s Really Not Thaaaaat Cold Here”
Sure, Alaska might have beautiful views, plenty of nice people, and more outdoorsy things to do than you can count, but there’s no denying that during some months the dropping temperatures make leaving the house unbearable. No Alaskan will deny that.…Ever.
2. “Online Shopping Has Pretty Much Saved My Life”
In the lower 48, it’s often possible to get something delivered to a doorstep within 2 days, sometimes for free. In Alaska, it’s a completely different story.
Lots of places won’t even ship their direction and if they do one should expect high prices and long wait times. There’s still a long way to go before online shopping becomes the better way to buy things in the “Last Frontier.”
3. “The Best Way To Prevent A Bear Attack Is To Leave Food Out So It’s Not Hungry!”
Everyone in Alaska knows that the best way to approach bear safety is to avoid them at all costs.
One way to do that is by making sure that nothing that might attract a bear, such as food and garbage, is left out for long. Otherwise, bears start appearing more frequently, often becoming more aggressive.
4. “The Northern Lights Get Kinda Old”
No matter how many times someone in Alaska has seen the aurora borealis, they can’t help but run to their front porch to sneak a peek when they get the news that “the lights are out.”
5. “It’s Kind Of Cute When Tourists Get Us Mixed Up With Canada”
With roughly 2 million people visiting Alaska every year, the number of people wandering the streets with open maps can get old fast. Nothing peeves an Alaskan more than when someone from the lower 48 asks a stupid question like “you accept American dollars here, right?”
6. “Some People Have Snowmobiles, But You Don’t Really Need One”
First, in Alaska there’s no such thing as a “snowmobile”, it’s a “snowmachine.” Second, most people in Alaska are well aware that in many areas of the state, a snowmachine becomes the only way to get around come snow season.
7. “It Snowed A Couple Inches Last Night, Looks Like I Won’t Be Working Today”
While the lower 48 might cower in fear every time a big storm hits, Alaskans are much tougher. When the snow starts to fall, they go about their lives as normal as possible, still going to work and school.
With some areas of the state averaging 300 inches of powder a year, snowfall has become just another facet of daily Alaskan life.
8. “These PFDs Cost The State Too Much Money”
In case you aren’t aware already, most Alaskans get a kickback from the government simply for living in the state. It’s called a PFD, or permanent fund dividend, and it can be well over $1,000.
No Alaskan will ever complain about getting this extra dough. Sure it might cost the state a lot of money, but these checks help cover the extra costs of living in such a cold, isolated place.
9. “Windshield Insurance Isn’t Really Worth It”
It doesn’t take long driving on Alaskan roads to know that windshields don’t last long in this state. With so much ice and debris being flipped up by other cars, most vehicles seem to have a matching windshield crack.
10. “It’s Only A Short Drive To Juneau”
Every Alaskan knows that driving to Juneau isn’t possible, you can only get their by boat or plane. Fortunately, the Alaskan Maritime Highway makes it easy to get to and from the capital by ferry.
11. “Why Isn’t The Sun Setting?”
During the Alaskan summer, days tend to get pretty long. So long that some places, like Barrow, get over 80 days of uninterrupted daylight. Alaskans are well aware of this occurrence and have found unique ways to block out the sun at night, such as covering windows in tin foil.
12. “Duct Tape Is Overrated”
There’s a chance Alaska as it’s currently known might cease to exist without duct tape. Known for its ability to repair almost anything, duct tape has become essential to thriving in such an isolated state.
It’s not uncommon to see duct tape holding together cars, houses, and even planes in this part of the country.
13. “These Penguins Can Get So Loud Sometimes”
Contrary to popular belief, the only place to see a penguin in Alaska is at the zoo. Just because there’s snow on the ground and its cold outside doesn’t mean Alaska is right for penguins. These flightless birds only live in the Southern hemisphere.
14. “The Summers Here Are Too Long”
While the winters in Alaska might be harsh, the summers are utterly amazing. The entire state becomes a playground, with awesome hiking, kayaking, and biking stretching far and wide.
Not only does the warmer weather mean more fun time outdoors, it’s also the only time of the year certain industries, like farming and some construction, can occur. No matter how long an Alaskan summer is, it’s always too short, seemingly gone in the blink of an eye.
15. “Reindeer Are Just Make Believe”
For some odd reason, there’s this belief in many parts of the country that reindeer aren’t real, merely a made up creature invented to fly Santa’s sleigh.
While it’s true that reindeers can’t fly, every Alaskan knows that they are indeed a creature walking this earth…and that they taste delicious.
16. “I’ll Just Take A Quick Trip To The Store”
Unless someone is in one of Alaska’s few larger cities, there’s really no such thing as a short drive to the store. There’s so much space and wilderness in this state that even a “quick” drive might take over an hour.
17. “Is Alaska Even Part Of America?”
Contrary to the popular belief of some Americans, obviously Alaska is a state, just like Indiana or Colorado. It might not be attached to the lower 48, but it operates under the same federal jurisdiction as every other part of America.
No Alaskan would ever make this mistake and most of them are getting tired of rolling their eyes when tourists ask this same question.
18. “I Just Wish This Place Was Flatter”